Power vs. Will

I don't know if this is a blog or a prayer. Sometimes its hard to tell.

I use to never have any trouble sleeping.  As soon as my head hit the pillow I was out. See you tomorrow ha. I use to not even be able to take naps as a kid because if I fell asleep I would sleep for hours and it would mess me up because when it was time to go to sleep then I wasn't tired because of my nap. But thats not my problem anymore. Now I can't sleep because of my mind. Now I just lie there and think. My eyes aimlessly chase the fan blades in circles but never catch them while my mind just races. I get to thinking about what God is teaching me through experience and circumstance and His Spirit and His Word and then it just won't stop. Sometimes I feel like Russell Crowe in "A Beautiful Mind" without all of the intelligence and with all of the craziness.

God's Sovereign Will vs. God's Sovereign Power.

There are those issues that just no matter how many different ways you think about them, you can't wrap your head around them. You just wrestle with them and fight to figure it out but just don't get it. God's Will and God's Power. Both examples of God's sovereignty. I wrestle with them both everyday.

Often in life we get thrown a pitch we've never really seen before. We don't understand why something happens, but the fact is that it happened, and because it affects our lives we have to deal with it. It could be making a big decision. It could be being told you have cancer. It could be your Dad being killed in a car accident, or a tsunami hitting a country and killing thousands of people. No one can explain it, and no one can go back and undo it.

So when that storm hits, when that ball comes our way, what do we do? Do we pray for God's divine, sovereign power to come in and make things right? Do we pray for healing? Do we ask that God come in and take over the situation? Because if He is God and he is sovereign, then He is already in control and He has allowed it to get the current state already, for some reason, to accomplish some purpose, that is acting in accordance with his good and perfect will. So why would I ask God to change it. Shouldn't I instead ask God to open my eyes and heart to his meaning in whatever storm He is rocking my boat with? Shouldn't I ask him to remove my own selfish desires of wanting whatever thorn that he has placed in my side to be taken away?

I don't know. Thats a hard thing to do. It seems easy to sit here and say right now that if the doctor came in and told me I had cancer that I wouldn't pray for healing, that I would pray that whatever God's plan was with that cancer in my life, that He would do it. I would learn from it, and let Him use me in whatever way it was. Man I don't know. Do I trust in His sovereign will? Or do I call on His sovereign power?

"If it were easy, then everyone would do it."
-David John Overman